The YANO-VIRUS
Greetings to the Milbournes. In honor of the Yanofchicks and Wildes out there, I must comment on western cultural paternalization practices as opposed to the Jewish believe that the the mother contributes AT THE LEAST 50% of the DNA to say that genetically speaking Chaz ME and Lauren are Milbournes! Or is it Hoaries . . . ? Oh well what's in a name anyhoo? My father's side of the family is irrevocably lost by the phonetic geniuses at Ellis Island.
On the comment of tradition, my wife and I have decided to starve and freeze ourselves to remember the first Thanksgiving. If only we had a native population's land to usurp and diseases to spread, then it would be a real Holiday. Hopefully someone will come to our rescue. Eating all this grass reminds me of the great potato famine, minus the whiskey. I've been fighting off the free range cows and wild turkeys all week.
School is good when you can find parking. Our pets are good.
Recently, I awoke to hear my wife exclaim, "Honey, I hurt Crusty . . . " and I rushed out of bed to find Lauren with about 4 inches of Crusty's tail in her hand. Just the skin I mean.
He hadn't quite made it out of the door when she closed it most of the way, frightened-ly opened it, and watched Crusty awkwardly return to the inside of the house seeming to say, "Something's not right here."
I found him and his bloody rat-tail hunkering under the coffee table, pulled him out and $350 later his tail is about 4 inches shorter! Lauren said to me, "Will it grow back?" Honest. She is a very intelligent woman, I assume she meant his skin. To which I replied, "No dear, they will cut this bloody tail bone stump off."
The cat doctors said Crusty was the mellow-est patient they ever had. He's pretty malleable, being that when he was a baby with terrible conjunctivitis we had to forcibly fill his crusty eyes with anti-biotics on a regular basis, setting the stage for a lifetime of odd calamity.
If anyone would like to come starve themselves and freeze and pray for salvation here in Morro Bay, the more the merrier, and the warmer. Maybe we can plan something for the winter solstice, oh I mean Christmas. I'm sure my sister would be more than happy to bare all the stress of the event.
To all the the fam, I send love and Joy. Be well you all! Happy Event Season!
On the comment of tradition, my wife and I have decided to starve and freeze ourselves to remember the first Thanksgiving. If only we had a native population's land to usurp and diseases to spread, then it would be a real Holiday. Hopefully someone will come to our rescue. Eating all this grass reminds me of the great potato famine, minus the whiskey. I've been fighting off the free range cows and wild turkeys all week.
School is good when you can find parking. Our pets are good.
Recently, I awoke to hear my wife exclaim, "Honey, I hurt Crusty . . . " and I rushed out of bed to find Lauren with about 4 inches of Crusty's tail in her hand. Just the skin I mean.
He hadn't quite made it out of the door when she closed it most of the way, frightened-ly opened it, and watched Crusty awkwardly return to the inside of the house seeming to say, "Something's not right here."
I found him and his bloody rat-tail hunkering under the coffee table, pulled him out and $350 later his tail is about 4 inches shorter! Lauren said to me, "Will it grow back?" Honest. She is a very intelligent woman, I assume she meant his skin. To which I replied, "No dear, they will cut this bloody tail bone stump off."
The cat doctors said Crusty was the mellow-est patient they ever had. He's pretty malleable, being that when he was a baby with terrible conjunctivitis we had to forcibly fill his crusty eyes with anti-biotics on a regular basis, setting the stage for a lifetime of odd calamity.
If anyone would like to come starve themselves and freeze and pray for salvation here in Morro Bay, the more the merrier, and the warmer. Maybe we can plan something for the winter solstice, oh I mean Christmas. I'm sure my sister would be more than happy to bare all the stress of the event.
To all the the fam, I send love and Joy. Be well you all! Happy Event Season!
Anthony, you just make me laugh so much, thanks for that honey.
ReplyDeleteyeah, i would love to, but it looks SD is the cool place to be this christ day. love you, brother.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteLauren and Anthony email me =) its Dana.......grassvalley1982@ yahoo.com. yay Hi Geneva =)
ReplyDelete